I find it easy to go about my day and do nothing worthwhile. My indolence comes from a habit of thinking only about myself; what I will occupy my time with to sate my boredom, to distract me from reality, and, above all else, to bring pleasure to myself. If I spent more of my time remembering that my very existence is a gift, perhaps my life would be better spent.

I do not consider it esoteric to think about my existence. It befuddles my heart and my mind that I am even here, and I am grateful that I reject the banality of an existence apart from creation--an accident rather than something purposeful. A man should be aware of the greatness of the gift. Each of us is made for communion: communion with God, with one another, and with creation itself. To reject that is to embrace the fact that one's entire existence amounts to the mundanity of constantly indulging oneself until death.

The more a man considers the greatness of the gift, the more his heart grows to love the One who gave it. I am convinced that the greater his realization of the gift of his being, the greater his love will become for Him who bestowed it.

Enlightened by the greatness of the gift and by a burning love for his benefactor, he becomes more aware of the benefit the gift brings him. It is then that  man is able to begin truly to appreciate the value of the gift. Rather than go about my day doing nothing worthwhile, it is becoming my strongest desire to embrace this communion fully and to experience life as it was always meant to be. Or I could simply go about my day diddling and indulging myself until I die, never having truly appreciated this gift and never having truly lived.